Transformation. We’ve all experienced it. It’s usually exciting starting on a journey of personal growth, however, more times than not, the transformations we experience have nothing to do with our wants or desires. A health crisis, relationship change, career layoff, downsizing or business failures, all of us from time to time have experienced difficult transformations.
The other day, a good friend asked me if I was OK. She was concerned I was “falling apart.” She had seen me being distracted and knew I was going through personal issues. Her question caught me by surprise. I laughed and said, “Why yes, I am falling apart and I am grateful for it.”
Yes, I am going through a difficult personal time, one that has me questioning what I am suppose to do with my life. I’m feeling anxious, as I know big changes are ahead for me. But, mostly, I am filled with wonderment, as I have gone through these types of transformations before and know they will ultimately lead me to a better life, one filled with even more passion and purpose.
Without occasional transformation, we die. It’s really that simple. Without challenges or changes, we might not physically be in the grave, but mentally and spiritually we sure can be. Contrary to what some believe, life is actually supposed to be challenging, filled with growth opportunities that guide us, expand who we are and show us what we are capable of.
A serene life of playing harp and eating grapes might await us in Heaven, but we are on Earth now…the ultimate Survivor Game. Life comes with its own set of rules and yet, paradoxically, no instructions on how to play it. Our goal is to live it, take the challenges that come head on and figure out how to complete the task.
I’m sure we all know people who can’t get out of their own way, who are stuck in a rut of their own creation. Even though they may hate their life, they never seem to do anything to change it. Some of us love our victim story and wouldn’t know how to live without it. Byron Katie’s book, “Who Would You be Without Your Story?” is the perfect example of that phenomenon.
Now, I’m no stranger to the role of victim. I don’t like that role, but like everyone, life beyond our control is a fact of everyday life. But, here’s what keeps me from becoming identified and ultimately nourishing a role as victim. As I feel the discomfort of a particular situation, instead of saying, “why me,” I acknowledge the difficulty and ask the Universe, “What can I learn from this?” Knowing we, “reap what we sow,” allows me to get in the express-lane back to sanity and peace of mind, passing up unnecessary negative emotions. This is the way of true positive transformation.
So yes, my life is falling apart at the moment and I am grateful for the experience.
As I am reaching a new milestone in my life I feel it’s time to make a huge leap in my personal and professional life. I will bring together everything I have learned from the first six decades and create new possibilities. I’ve even written a new One Woman Show called The Possibility Chronicles which I will premier at my birthday party. View details on our calendar of events.
Some of the things I have learned so far:
I am a person who deeply cares about others, sometimes at my own expense, and I can’t do that anymore. I must put my oxygen mask on first!
I have become a minimalist. Even if I won the Mega Bucks, I would not want, nor need, a big house or expensive car. Simple is best for my spirit. I love my Prius, at over 50 miles a gallon, I would never want to give it up. My next home will be small, created with recyclable materials, and have a big deck outside with gardens and a hot tub… a wish-list indulgence that tends to heal the spirit of this Cancerian water-sign. I’ve learned what is important to me in my surroundings. Less is more and nature is tops.
Connecting with people is still a high priority with me, but the kind of person I wish to associate with has changed. I have spent much of my life trying to assist the walking wounded, many of whom cherish their suffering… it becomes who they are. I now want to spend more time bonding with people who wish to make a difference in the world. We all are wounded from time to time, but we can choose to heal and grow. Life is short and I want to surround myself with people who are kind, considerate and who welcome personal growth. I’m going to create a group called, “My Posse of Possibilities.” It’s time.
I’ve got books to write, new business divisions to create and will bring fresh ideas and people into my business circle. Most of my work over the years has been focused on women’s issues. But, as a woman who was raised with three brothers, I really love dealing with guys too, so the new focus of my latest enterprises will include men. It’s time for new possibilities.
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es, it’s all about transforming and yes, it can be difficult at times. But when you get through it, ahhh… it will all be worth it.
I am the dragonfly, breaking free from the water of my small pond, taking flight to soar beyond the limits that once confined me into a new world of possibilities. Won’t you join me?
Debby
